NCIS

Episode: A Weak Link

Tony:
I watched a great movie.
Kate: Let me guess, a horror flick?
Tony: Halloween VIII. I think it's the best Halloween ever. Makes Halloween VII look like Halloween V.
Kate: God, I can't even believe they made one of them much less eight.

Tony: Aw, you don't know much about dating, do you?
Kate: Why don't you enlighten me?
Tony: Well, there's always one phony break-up that precedes the real break-up.

Kate: Where we going?
Tony: With Gibbs, you never know.

Kate: Oh, what an awful way to die.
Tony: I can think of worse ways to go.
Kate: Like what?
Tony:Getting eaten by a shark, being buried alive, falling into a wood chipper.

Gibbs: What do you got, Duck?
Ducky: Unfortunately for lieutenant Johnson, it appears to be just what it looks like.

Kate: You okay?
Abby: I'm fine. Why?
Kate: You're not your normal, effervescent, cheerful Abby.
Abby: That's because she's been replaced by the abnormal, dull and melancholy Abby.

Ducky: The lifetime odds of dying from a fall like this are roughly the equivalent of the odds of dying from a collision with an asteroid.
Gibbs: And?
Ducky: What kind of a person would I be if I had this knowledge and I didn't share it with you?

Palmer: It was an extremely unusual situation.
Ducky : They always are.
Palmer: I was in the shower and the doorbell rang, but I didn't know it at the time.
Ducky : That you were in the shower?
Palmer: No, that it was the doorbell. See, my head cold in combination with my tinnitus made me think that it was the kitchen timer.
Ducky : Very unusual.
Palmer: Yes, so I spent several minutes trying to figure out what it was I had finished cooking, and by the time I realized that it was the front door,I'd almost forgotten I'd taken a shower. It will never happen again.
Ducky : Who was there?
Palmer: Where?
Ducky : At the door?
Palmer: Oh, I didn't answer it.

Gibbs: I'm sensing a "but."
Abby : You are correct, a great one.

Tony : Oh, it's not just a car, boss. This is a '66 mustang. Revolutionary in its day.
Gibbs: You're not going to start giving me all the vital stats on this car, are you?
Tony : Thunder ball...
Gibbs: Let me rephrase that, Dinozzo. You're not going to give me the vital stats on this car.

Gibbs: What if I wanted to get into that account?
Kate : Get a search warrant for the servers.
Gibbs: We don't have time for a warrant. What's a quicker way?
Kate : Hack into the servers. I can't believe I just said that. I would've never suggested that before I started working here.

McGee: Why do you use that word?
Abby : What word?
McGee: Hinky. It's a made-up word.
Abby : All words are made-up words.
McGee: Well I think it's stupid.
Abby : Well, maybe I shouldn't say anything then.
McGee: Fine.
Abby : Fine.

Gibbs: Well, it's good to see you, Duck. We could use a new pair of eyes around here.
Ducky: I'm afraid the freshness date on my eyes expired a while back. However, I do have
corrective lenses.

Tony: Don't worry, Kate. I got your back.
Kate: Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of, Tony.

Abby : Can you type any faster?
McGee: Not unless I grow another hand.

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