Gilmore Girls Quotes, Tippecanoe and Taylor Too

Your family got bigger..
When they thought you were rich..

Luke: Food's from Doose's, pans and bowls, you had, and the spatula's mine.
Lorelai: You travel with a spatula?
Luke: Sometimes.

Lorelai: And just because I now have "Dating Luke" doesn't mean I want to lose my "Cooking Luke."
Luke: But I am cooking, and I am Luke.
Lorelai: Look, it's like Tommy Lee having a Starbucks at his house.
Luke: What?
Lorelai: On the surface, it sounds great. But half the reason you go to a Starbucks is to go to a Starbucks, you know, to go out and see the people.
Luke: Tommy Lee has a Starbucks in his house?
Lorelai: "Cribs," baby. Watch it.

Rory: "Cultural Disenfranchisement with Women's Role Models" - do you have it?
Lorelai: Oh, God, I hope not.
Rory: It's the book for the class I'm officially late to.

Rory: Man, that's weird.
Lorelai: What's weird?
Luke: Who's weird? I'm weird?
Rory: The thought of Luke running around naked in my kitchen. It's weird.
Lorelai: Luke is not running around naked in your kitchen. He is sitting at the table, and, yes, he is naked.
Luke: Don't do that. Don't tell her I'm naked. I'm not naked. I'm not naked!
Rory: He sounds naked.
Lorelai: Well, the chairs are cold.

Rory: Paris, it's on my book bag. I'm late for class, and you put a printing press on my book bag?
Paris: Well, sorry. It's from my dead boyfriend, okay? I apologize if my grief is inconveniencing you. Maybe I'll just put myself on an iceberg and float myself out to sea so that no one will have to deal with my suffering.
Rory: Well, just get that thing off my bag before you go.

- So the names don't match, and Taylor has no idea who you are.
- Oh, I'm the person whose foot is going to prevent him from sitting down. That's who I am.

Paris: You're having sex. Well, luckily, I just bought some noise-reducing headphones, so that'll help.
Rory: Oh boy.
Paris: If I put the headphones on, then stuff towels under the door, that should do the trick. Hey, if you've got extra towels to stuff, I got a location suggestion. How loud are you?
Rory: Paris, stop.
Paris: Look, I don't care. I just need the information to formulate a good plan. I mean, you look all small and squeaky, but sometimes, it's exactly the bunny-looking girls who can blow the roof off the barn. I know, just give me a three-minute warning.
Rory: I'm walking away now.

Dude, the only thing more un-rock 'n' roll than coupons is that shirt you're wearing.

Taylor: The ferocity of attack is not affected by whether they're in the larval or nymphal life stage or whether they're of the one-, two-, or three-host variety.
Town people: Oh, I hate this, Taylor. Every year.
Town people: Yeah, we get it - ticks are bad.
Taylor: Maybe people who are new to our town - thus, new to the town meeting don't know the hazards of the common tick.
Town people: Ticks are bad! Moving on!
Taylor: Don't hate the tick messenger. Hate the tick.

The question before us is, shall the town incur the expense of posting signs urging residents to tuck their pants into their socks during tick season?

Taylor: According to town codes, no new structure can come within 10 feet of the edge of your property.
Jackson: Oh, that's a technicality.
Taylor: No, that's the law. And as town selectman, it's up to me to see that you abide by it.
Jackson: Unbelievable!
Taylor: There's a simple solution, if you want to hear it.
Jackson: I do, yes.
Taylor: Just move it over six inches.
Jackson: Oh, well, you should have just said that before.
Taylor: Perhaps I should have.
Jackson: Just move the greenhouse over six inches?
Taylor: That's right.
Jackson: Good thing I built it on wheels so I could just scooch it over.
Taylor: Oh, it's on wheels?
Jackson: No, it's not on wheels!
Taylor: Because wheels would have been handy.

- We're gonna need buttons and balloons and a slogan.
- How about something like..I don't know.. "Taylor sucks like a tick"?

Kirk: Jackson is solidly in the lead.
Lorelai: Already? We just started bugging people.
Kirk: Well, I modeled my poll after the Gallup poll. The Gallup poll uses a sample of 1,005 voters to represent the 280 million people of the United States. Using that logic, the correct sampling size of the town of Stars Hollow would be 0.002. Rounding that up means one person needs to be polled, so I picked me.
Lorelai: You polled yourself?
Kirk: I was right there. Seemed like a perfect opportunity.

We do not harass the voters. This is not Florida.

Zach: We're already backstage. People will see us.
Brian: Not if we wear tiki masks.

Kirk: I am sure. I talked to everyone except Taylor but I assumed he was voting for himself - and they all told me the same thing.