Gilmore Girls Quotes, We Got Us a Pippi Virgin!

One minute honest then you're full of false pretension..

- What does a businessman want when they travel? Booze, and hookers. Anything else?
- I think that covers it.
- We got booze. How do we get hookers?
- How about a banner up front that reads "Hoes up at the Dragonfly"?

Jackson: Everybody's gotta have a piece of Jackson. Well, he's got nothing left, I tell you, nothing. His town selectman duties are starting to wear on him. He's got functions every day and meetings and hearings I tried to work in a nice suicide, but my schedule wouldn't allow it.

Lorelai: Well, it doesn't matter. I wasn't supposed to be tipping you, anyway.
Luke: True.
Lorelai: In fact, I want a rebate.
Luke: What?
Lorelai: You've been ripping me off for ten years.

Lorelai: What the hell is that?
Emily: What does it look like? It's a panic room.
Lorelai: Like Jodie Foster?
Emily: I have no idea.
Lorelai: But it's very small. It's more like an anxiety room.
Emily: It's for one person. You could maybe squeeze two in.
Lorelai: And when those two are done panicking, the next couple of panickers get a turn?

Lorelai: Hey, let's test it out. I'm gonna get you.
Emily: Oh, my God. Stop it.
Lorelai: I'm menacing. Panic, damn it. Come on.
Emily: There's nothing funny about this.
Lorelai: Oh! Get in, quick! Quick!
Emily: Stop it.

Rory: I have never seen Grandma so singularly obsessed about a piece of clothing.
Lorelai: Not since I wore my "Gas, Grass, or Ass, No one rides for free" t-shirt to the junior league spring tea.

- Anything new?
- Went to the dentist. Said I'm brushing too vigorously.
- Oh interesting. 'Cause when you're a kid, they tell you to really go at it, ya know?
- Another lie fed to our generation.

Emily: Lorelai, are you alone?
Lorelai: Why?
Emily: Because I'm going to give you the code to open the panic room from the outside. Okay. Here goes. Are you ready?
Lorelai: Pen is poised.
Emily: 1, 1, 1... 1, 1.
Lorelai: Is that the code it came with?
Emily: Well, I don't know how to change it. The men were supposed to show me, and now it's the code I'm stuck with. Did you write it down?
Lorelai: Barring an aneurysm, I think I'll remember it.
Emily: Well, factor in an aneurysm and write it down. This is important.
Lorelai: Okay. I'm writing it down. 1, 1, 1, 1, 1.
Emily: Don't say it out loud.

Jojo's burgers could travel to China, and they'd still be just as good.

I'm very proud to announce that tonight's feature presentation is the classic "Cool Hand Luke". But I'm deeply sorry to report that the first reel of the movie inexplicably caught fire earlier this evening.

"Freckles on her nose, diddle diddle dee, a girl came riding,
into town one day, diddle diddle dee, was quite a sight.
It's Pippi Longstocking he ho ho ah he ha ha,
it's Pippi Longstocking there's no one like her.
Happy as can be, diddle diddle dippy, tells you stories
you just wait and see, tra la la la la "

Luke: He's not good enough for her.
Lorelai: Well, who is? Jess?
Luke: No, not Jess. A prince, maybe. One that's in line to be king.

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